Christmas in Puerto Rico: Puerto Rican Bombing!

Hi there people. How are you? Everything fine in the neighborhood I guess? Yes this is me your invisible and smelly friend Merdócrata. Today is a special day because I want to do something different. Yes. I am going to post something in English because as you know statehood is right in the corner and thank God and Jesus Christ everything is going to progress here in my shitty island. And now, because Christmas is in just two days or something like that, I wish to give you some words of wisdom in English of course.

Here in Puerto Rico we have good beaches, good weather and good ass (of women) but there is something we have that is very important too and that is our music. I believe Puerto Rico is a very musical place and in Christmas music and culture mix to bring us one very distinctive festivity that distinguish us all from everyone in the world. Us, as latinos Americans have a duty to share this thing around the world. That’s the way George Washington will do it. Let’s beging with some songs, should we?

Let’s begin with the filthy song called “El Lechón se coge” singed in Spanish:

That’s so fucked up! Sounds like a satanic ritual, isn’t? Let’s translate it in English.

“The pig you grab it, you kill it and shave it.

The pig you grab it, you kill it and shave it.

You put it in a tube and give it hot.” 

And there is more. There is another one about pigs. This one os about the fate of a pig. Let’s here there original song. Yes, yes I know, Puerto Ricans have to change some “details” if we have to

This pork fascination have affected Puerto Rico’s social culture and you can find pork everywhere: in food menus  in traditions, as you can see, Puerto Rico is full of pigs, even people are pigs.  You can eat their brains with scramble eggs, you can eat their intestines with their blood and rice, just add a little spicy, eat the end of their little legs or “patitas de cerdo” with beans and shit under their foot, and those are just few  examples, because pork is universal. Everything is about pork  everything, everywhere, even in your shit you still find pork.

Arts are a great example of their use, paint brush are made of pork hair. Political status are full of mediocre pigs, our state celebrities are pigs too. Lets just give an example: Baby Rasta, Mexicano, Lubriel, Avelino Muñoz Stevenson y Otto Oppenheimer.

But lets return to the previous Christmas theme.  There are more satanic Christmas rituals linked to pork, music and traditions, listen this Christmas lyrics “Ese Pobre Lechón”

“Ese pobre lechón

Que murió de repente

Con un tajo en la frente

y otro en el corazón

lo metieron al horno

y le metieron el diente

y le metieron el diente 

a ese pobre lechón”

This satanic lyrics in English sound like this

“That poor pig

that died suddenly

with a cut in the forehead

and other in the heart

they put it in the oven,

they take it out hot

and they bite it

and they bite it

to that poor pig”

Apart of that shit I think people in Puerto Rico have a good time singing demonic songs. But the fun is not about saying prayers to the devil. We have things called “bombings”. What the fuck is a bombing? Bomb? Well in Puerto Rico bombs are verses (4 if you know how to make good bombings) that tell a  brief story. But it begins with a little intro song:

“The bomb how good it is!

The rhythm is flowing through my feet through my feet

Black man that out your brown woman

To dance bomb, bomb, Puerto Rican bomb, BOMB!”

Later the selected person need to say his verses.

Here are the more popular ones:

“One day I pass to your house

and I heard a shoot-out

I look to your window

and it was you farting, BOMB!”

“One day I pass to your house

you throw me a scratch disc

and I am not going to give it back

and I am not going to give it back

and I am not going to give it back

and I am not going to give it back”

As you can see Puerto Rican bombs are fun and good for all the family, You just need to be creative, have a couple of friends and live all the fun the experience of Puerto Rican bombs can offer you.

What is Puerto Rico in Christmas? Christmas is the people. All the island is crazy to celebrate this event. No one is safe! And I admit it. We party hard!!!

Bayamón
Las Marías
Canóvanas
Piñones

Let’s be creative. In this short blog, I want to hear all of you showing your Christmas songs and bombings in English of course and share them here in benefit of  all the people in our great nation USA and our good friends from Louisiana  Alabama and other states tat really love us . Let’s show all of them why Puerto Rico does it better. And you know who does it better? Simeón El Bárbaro our must value player in this season. Lets hear this song that unite our Puerto Rican family.

Is time to say good bye. Yes, we need to end this stupid and short blog remember you all the gratitude I have with you guys since the day I begin wrting shit in this blog instead of looking animal porn. From the bottom of my hart thanks. You are very special to me <3. Who I am kidding!? Hope you die forever.

Fuck you;

Merdócrata

9 pensamientos en “Christmas in Puerto Rico: Puerto Rican Bombing!”

  1. jajajja me mata la traducción en ingles de las canciones, cualquier gringo que lo lea pensara que todos los boricuas somos anormales o rednecks que matamos animales para hacer sacrificios a dioses extraños.

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